i want to actualy do something with my life.
i want it to have significance.
i dont want to lead the average life, with the average goals...
as in, find a husband and have an ok marriage, have decent children, find a job that pays good, and have a nice house.
although i would like that, i want more than that.
i want to have a job that i actualy like, a job where i can help others out, and make a difference.
i want a marriage that i will delight in, and a husband that will encourage me.
i want children with beautiful smiles that know how to actualy live.
i will show them that life is what you make it,
and it IS possible to have love and laughter, joy and peace, in life,
it's affected by the decisions you make.
I want to make a difference.
I want to have an impact on my community and those around me.
we have become so used to poverty and brokness,
we never give it a second thought.
i want to create change.
to somehow open others eyes to see life in a new sort of way.
to be genuine...
TO BE REAL.
i want to actualy be alive in this world were so many are dead.
no dead as in cease to live, but dead as in lack of life,
lack of interest, lack of motivation, lack of purpose,
lack of direction...
* * * *
Saturday night was beautiful.
there's something so calming and beautiful about the night sky
especially out in the country where all the lights from town are hidden
and you can faintly see houses in the distance as white chirstmas lights outline them.
we went for a walk which ended up beeing almost 2.5 hours long
but it was worth it, i think
although we had to hop a few eletric fences,
got a zillion soakers
walked through a feild of mud up past our ankles
and all the while beeing super dark, and scary
it was worth it to be with freinds
to have cool conversations
and to actualy feel alive for once, after weeks of ISUs and tests.
i am content.
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6 comments:
He would see faces in movies, on T.V., in magazines, and in books....
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him....And
through the years, by keeing an ideal facial structure fixed in his
mind....Or somewhere in the back of his mind....That he might, by
force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal....The
change would be very subtle....It might take ten years or so....
Gradually his face would change its' shape....A more hooked nose...
Wider, thinner lips....Beady eyes....A larger forehead.
He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other
people....They had also molded their faced according to some
ideal....Maybe they imagined that their new face would better
suit their personality....Or maybe they imagined that their
personality would be forced to change to fit the new appear-
ance....This is why first impressions are often correct...
Although some people might have made mistakes....They may have
arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them....
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish
whim, or momentary impulse....Some may have gotten half-way
there, and then changed their minds.
He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake.
i dont get how this relates...
i want to be friends with you forever .
I miss Saturday nights like that.
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