May Angels lead you in.

hearing about the four (now five, i think) guys who died in a car crash this weekend seemed like normal news to me. that is, untill i found out one of the guys who died, Mike Fleming, attended the same camp as me. although he went a different session and i never actualy met him, it hit closer to my heart than i anticipated.
i've found out that seeing others suffering hurts. i've found it fustrating that your not able to do anything for them, except offer to listen and try to be there. as if that is nearly enough...
yet nothing seems to feel exactly right.
i've found myself happy alot this weekend and past few days, yet i feel guilt too.
i feel guilty beucase i am able to let others make me laugh, and to enjoy life while so many others are numb with suffering, and mourning the loss of a close freind.
daily things now seem so trivial and meaningless. i have found so many things in my life that i think are so important, yet in the big picutre and grand scheme of things, they are a tiny grain of sand. they are so small, so worthless, but i spent a lot of time focusing on it. oh if we were only able to focus on whats important! to take NOTHING for granted...
beucase life is something so easily taken for granted.
all i can think of is four young boys who lost their lives way to quickly.
they were so young. Loved ones die, yet life still finds a way to carrey on. it's hard to surrender to that, but one cannot live in the past hurt.
May angels lead you in.
hear you me, my friend.
on sleepless roads the sleepless go,
may angels lead you in.

on redemption.

I still sit in this corner and eat.

Redemption is so sweet.
The very idea of something worthless beeing re-created into something of worth seems beautiful. it is hopefull; not disappointing.
i wish i could redeem life.
maybe then more people would enjoy it.
"Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89...
My God, what a world you love.
men burry their sons and without thought,
just walk away..."-As Cities Burn

On blankets, pt 2.

Ah winter break, so quickly come and gone.
i miss skiing. and the veiw up at the top of the mountain is quite decent too.

I took the quote from my last blog, and posted it on my fridge where my family puts quotes.

And my mom and i discussed it.

and i have thought about it some more.

What is so wrong with Christianity, what cuases it to turn others away? Why does it deny us the beauty of beeing human, why does it ignore gaps that need to be filled in with the individual? what are the boundaris set up between people and cultures?

It's the part where Relgion comes in.

Sometimes i dont think of myself as relgious,

Yeah i believe in God, yet i see it more as a personal relationship... not a religion.

relgion sounds so cold and exculisve,

i dont like it's negative connotations.

and i think the relgious part of chirstianity is what creates these problems.

Our warped ideas of how christianity should be, our ideas that are so wrongwe add them to Christianity, creating some sort of werid religon.
The thing is, our Churchs get so messed up.

it's cuase we have these ideas of how we should be,

and we then attribute them to God.

Maybe we try to make God like us, or we enforce our ideas on others,

saying they were Gods ideas.

This is maybe where the problem starts.

As Christians, we are told that the world will not accept us. We are not of it, so how then do we relate with it?

There's truth in that statement, yet we recive it differently.

we have this idea that those who arent chirstians wont understand us, wont like us, wont be freinds with us.

however that is false. But we believe it, so we push these ppl far away from us.

we deny them any chance of even getting to know us, beucase we think they wont accept us...

we end up pushing those away who could acutaly accept us.

We are the ones creating a rift between culutres, between communites, between ppl.

we're setting up boundaries, unecessary ones.

Also, Some ppl think we should not hang out with those that are less than gracefull,

like druggies, prostitues, or even no chirstians,and i think that ridicouls.

Jesus hung out with these people, they ACCEPTED HIM.

why do we shun these ppl that may be so ready to accept us?

again we create boundaries.

but in truth, we need to let these i deas go, and hang out with those that are less than lovley, dont have this idea ingrained in your head that we will never be accepted, ebcuase it pushes others away from us.

I think a kkey idea is this;

You must seperate your ACTIONS, not YOURSELF from the world.

i think there is beauty in beeing human.

is where we find our individuality, who we are.

but is the beauty taken away when we are told how to act, what to do, we have boundaires rules and guidlines set up by religon?

not God, religion.

I still get confuised about this.